Jah feeling vulnerable. The lost tooth.

As I have mentioned before, I have spent quite some time writing a memoir, entitled “A Rock for Jah”. This has not been published and I doubt whether it ever will be.

D. thought that I have been consulting the Memoir when writing the blog, but so far I have not even looked at it. All the facts and information are imprinted in my memory.

When bringing up a child from babyhood, there are many things that one mentions and teaches a child about life as the days go by.

It seems that when taking on an older child, there are bits of information that one expects a child to have absorbed before they joined the family. However, sometimes there are unexpected  gaps in a child’s knowledge.

One thing that we may not have told Jah was about losing ‘baby teeth’. One day when I fetched him from his early days at school, an adorable, motherly little girl presented him to me. She looked very concerned.Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“He’s upset”, she said. “Our teacher said that I had to stay with him and look after him during Assembly. He won’t tell anyone what is wrong.  Then he got better, but now he’s upset again”.

I  knew that this girl was from a Jehovah Witness’s family. They did not celebrate birthdays, or attend Assembly. She had a few smaller brothers and sisters and was clearly used to being like a little mother.

I asked  Jah what was wrong, I noticed that not only was he tearful, but he was speaking in a funny way. His mouth looked strange.Image courtesy of arztsamui at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“My hooth”, he said in a muffled manner. “My hooth.” I looked into his mouth.  Then I saw what was wrong and he dissolved into floods of tears.It turned out that his tooth had become loose and fallen out early in the school day. He had kept it in his mouth all day and it was still in there!  He must have feared that this was a great failing on his part. He presumably did not know that this happens to all children. We had neglected to tell him, and he had not mentioned having a loose tooth.  Perhaps I should have noticed. He must still have been feeling vulnerable, even though he had been with us for over a year.  Doubtless his cheery demeanour and amusing attempts at attention-seeking had hidden a deep-seated feeling of insecurity

Fortunately, the problem about the lost tooth was quite an easy one to solve. Once the little girl and I discovered what was wrong, we told him that this happens to all children and is perfectly normal. I am sure that the teacher would have been able to reassure him right at the beginning of the school day, but Jah had been too fearful to explain his dilemma to her.

Adopting an older child is different from adopting a baby.  However,  this is  National Adoption Month and I would like to mention that there is a very great need for adopters of older children. I heard recently something disturbing on the news.  Apparently during this last year, only about half the usual number of adoptions have taken place. This means that many children who should be placed for adoption, are being let down.  This is a serious matter.

There is an interesting website for anyone interested in adoption. It is the website of BAAF (British Adoption and Fostering) www.baaf.org.uk.

It was in its early days when we adopted, but today the organisation has developed and the staff offer a wealth of information for adopters. Please pass this on to any people you know who are contemplating adoption.

I suppose I felt that I had let Jah down by not preparing him for losing teeth. However, with the benefit of hindsight, I can say that it is hard for parents to get everything right all the time and fortunately most of us survive!