Jah settles in. “He ain’t heavy. He’s my brother”.

So now, after about eight months of waiting, Jah had come to live in our family.  He was considered as a foster child, with a view to adoption.

Sam was extra delighted. He played a lot with his new little brother.  They certainly had a lot of fun and games together.  It was heart-warming to witness.

Lucy and Anna were both helpful in their own ways.  Jah needed a lot of attention and there were a few of us around to give it at different times. I know that D. and I were very busy!

Below are two photos of Jah setting out for the Playgroup.  On looking back, I realise again how fortunate I was to have found a job that I could do where I could take him along.

Getting on with daily life

 We were very touched when Sam said to us “I  do my work quicker now at school because I’m thinking of getting home and seeing Jah!”  On another occasion he said “I feel more triumphant now I have a little brother who looks like me.”

At the playgroup Jah managed pretty well considering I was one of the leaders.  I sat next to him during the circle time when we all sang action songs.  He did not know them at first, but soon picked them up.  He loved “Mr Fat and Mr Small” and made himself look bloated for “Mr Fat” and extremely tiny for “Mr Small”.  One child stared with incomprehension at Jah’s brown, matted Rasta locks and wondered aloud whether the new boy was actually a ‘scarecrow’.  I was pretty sure that Jah had not heard that comment and was very relieved.

Jah’s hair was quite an issue.  Strictly speaking we could have had it cut, but his social worker was in touch with Jah’s birth father and had said that we would keep the Rasta locks if he wanted.  Once Jah became legally ours, the father would no longer have a say in this matter.  He was going to hand over the responsibility to us.  However, this was bound to take a long time.  (We had no idea how long.)

We had regular visits from both our social workers and Jah was happy to see them, especially Pat, whom he had known most of his life.  She told us that she was busy compiling his Life Story.  I know that these Life Story books are quite common nowadays but we had not heard of that idea before. (We had nothing  like that for baby Sam when he came to us.)  It is a wonderful idea and provides an adopted or fostered child with a back history, so that they can begin to have an understanding of why and how they have moved from house to house and family to family.  Pat was gathering photos of his birth parents and other people who had played key parts in his early life.

After Jah had been with us for one week, we had to start planning his fourth birthday party.

Pat was going to be with us.  It was good to observe that she seemed to be genuinely fond of him.  This continued link with her was very important, especially in those early days.  Together we planned his day of celebration very carefully.  I shall tell you about it in my next blog post.