Waiting – Jah’s Life Story Book

For well over one year we were considered as Jah’s Foster parents, with a view to becoming his adoptive parents. The delay was partly due to the fact that his birth mother had apparently disappeared. At any rate nobody knew her address. It was important to contact her, so that she could give her consent to the adoption. Another factor for the delay was that the so-called brilliant barrister had gone on maternity leave.  She was the one the London Borough had been so happy to engage.

Jah was getting impatient for the actual adoption, especially as time was drawing near for us to register him at the local Primary School. It was the one Sam already attended, although he was by now in the elevated position of being in the Junior school department.

Jah was five years old in June.

After his birthday I went with him to register at the Infants School for the following Term. I explained why his surname was still not the same as ours. This gave us another opportunity to study the Life Story his social worker had prepared for him.

In case anybody is not familiar with a Life Story Book – it sets out the origins and early days of a child, so that he or she does not feel that they have started their life completely anew. It is necessary for children to know that they have a history. Who they are descended from is a vital part of who they are and in many cases, they have had life-changing influences from many loving people along the way. These people should also feature in the Life Story. I believe that today, children will be provided with a video as well.

Pat, Jah’s Social worker, had gathered a photo of the hospital he was born in.

(We emphasised that both Prince William and Prince Harry had been born in that hospital, so he looked suitably impressed!) She had also gathered one photo of each of his birth parents and all his half brothers and sisters, as well as pictures of the wonderful short-term foster parents who had in fact looked after him for 1 ½ years.

One day in late summer we received an invitation to attend a Foster Family Party at the Town Hall of the London Borough.

That was quite an experience. So many families poured into the building, that I had the impression that the men at the Reception were completely overwhelmed. (Maybe I was fantasising, but it seemed to me that they ducked down behind the Reception desk and let us all stream through.) I imagine they were used to business people, Council workers and councillors.

Image courtesy of cuteimage / FreeDigitalPhotos.net  Businessmen round the clock

They would rarely have experienced such a stampede of excited children. They looked terrified!

Images courtesy of sattva / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

All four of our children soon found children of their own age to talk to and engage with. We parents also had some very interesting encounters with other foster and would-be-adoptive parents. It was quite sobering to hear all the different experiences children had been through.

And so the long waiting period continued – until one day we had an excited telephone call from Pat, Jah’s hard-working social worker. His birth mother had been located. She had come into a London hospital, giving birth to another child. Her current social worker was a very strong person, who explained how much better if would be for Jah, if his birth mother consented to the adoption. She had not seen him for years and the adoption was going to be inevitable, but her formal permission would mean that in future everybody could say that this was the birth mother’s wish and Jah would know this as he grew older.

The ‘brilliant barrister’ had not returned from maternity leave but another one was lined up and it looked as if things would move more swiftly now.

Jah looked at the back pages in his Life  Story Book.  They had not been filled in.”They can be for my ‘doption day”, he observed solemnly. 

We just hoped that they could be filled in fairly quickly.