Why I started writing my blog

My blog began in September 2013 because there were many things I wanted to say about adopting children of a different race. They are things I have learned as we went along and many are things that I feel strongly about. They are things that I wanted to share. I also wanted to describe how well we were served by our social workers.  Social workers don’t always get a good press.

Recently I have indulged in a few reflections about heritage and backgrounds.

I would now like to return to the narrative/memoir about Jah. When Jah joined our family he was nearly four years old. By then Sam was eight years old and the big sisters were fourteen and sixteen.

This photo was taken during our first summer holiday as a family of 6.  We went camping in Scotland.

Throughout their childhood we tried to give both Sam and Jah as much contact with black people as possible. When Jah joined us we were living in Leicester. In that city there was an annual multiracial festival held at the De Montfort Hall, a big public venue and we all enjoyed that. We made some good friends who had adopted a boy and a girl, both of Indian heritage. It was a really good feeling to be able to mix with people of all colours and from a variety of traditions. We enjoyed the music, the food, looking at the different fashions – everything!

Then we joined a group called “Harmony “ and that was excellent.

 At Harmony group meetings we met mixed race and adoptive families and the children enjoyed relaxing times with the children. We parents benefitted from discussing shared issues. There was not much information available in those days. Today there are many organisations and much information about health, skin care, hair care and other important matters, as well as post-adoption support. Today one can find out so much via the Internet.

We did what we could to make contact with black people. D. took Sam to steel band practice in a Caribbean area of the city.

Picture courtesy of Owen Lydiard

He enjoyed playing in the band. He also took part in a drama group. In that group he was the only black child and had a role of a “baddie” – (reinforcing a negative image?) not good of course, but he enjoyed performing so we just left it.

As Sam neared the age for choosing a secondary school, we did careful research into the possible schools. As far as we could see, there were hardly any black boys at the local secondary school, so we made enquiries further afield. Fortunately we discovered one school that seemed to have more awareness of the need to acknowledge diversity.

We were about to sign Sam up for that school when D. received a telephone call that was about to change everything entirely for the whole family!